


We Haven't Fucked Yet (But My Head's Spinning)

by kwonlegs



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, Soonhoon - Freeform, dont kill me, i dont even know, i just write fics out of the blue im sorry, soonhoon is life, soonhoon is realz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-15
Updated: 2016-10-15
Packaged: 2018-08-22 13:26:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8287390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kwonlegs/pseuds/kwonlegs
Summary: In which, Jihoon and Soonyoung pretend to have sex so their members would leave them alone.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The title is a line from the song Why Can’t I by Liz Phair and the pretend sex scene was inspired by the movie Easy A.   
> Also, KANTO & Woozi’s collab song sounded so sensual and it’s what I listened to – including Liz Phair’s song – whilst writing this.  
> This is not even porn – it’s just – it was just an idea and it kind of sounded good to me and so I wrote it. It just happened and the story seems vague but I hope you have a good time reading it.

Soonyoung was propped up on his bed, leaning on the headboard and reading a book when he heard the door slam and saw a scowling Jihoon stomping his way on to him. Judging by the expression on his friend’s face, Soonyoung could tell that he had been teased by the other members (not the first time it happened) but instead of fighting back, he opted to retreat to Soonyoung’s room before he could commit any heinous crime.

 

Teasing Jihoon had probably been a thing for the other members for the past few weeks – it was some kind of an agenda or maybe an addiction and Soonyoung doesn’t have the slightest idea why or how it started. Also, he didn’t want to take part in it because he knows Jihoon and he loves his life and still wants to live.

The last time the other members teased Jihoon it was about aegyo – who had the least aegyo among the members – and since everyone pointed at him (Soonyoung only gave him a side glance though), they made him do it and Jihoon didn’t really like it.

 

Jihoon wasn’t really keen nor fond of doing aegyo because what’s the fucking point?

People make other people do aegyo and if they don’t like it they have this weird reaction and their faces just screams NO and you’re just sat there wanting to put your middle finger up because what is the point of doing aegyo when you’re going to reject it!?

                                                                                                                   

And he wasn’t cute – not at all. There wasn’t any cuteness in Jihoon’s body. If there was any, then it probably already escaped together with his soul to god knows where. Also, it’s cringe.

 

The producer – who tried really hard not to let his self-control crumble – retreated to Soonyoung’s room and stayed there until his murderous side subsided.

 

Now, Jihoon did the same thing. He let his body drop on Soonyoung bed face first and Soonyoung couldn’t help but smile fondly. Poor Jihoon – he probably wanted to murder the eleven boys but thought twice as he didn’t want to be put in jail.

 

“What was it this time?” Soonyoung asked but his eyes never left the book he was reading.

 

Jihoon groaned and looked up at Soonyoung, his face blank and his eyes said ‘murder’.

 

“Skinship,”

 

“Skinship… huh…” Soonyoung flipped to the next page but this time he wasn’t reading anymore.

 

“Yeah, skinship,” Jihoon repeated and buried his face on Soonyoung’s bedsheet. “What the fuck, right?”

 

That was ridiculous and a bit too much, Soonyoung thought, but he doesn’t know what to say or do to make Jihoon feel better and so, as usual, he left Jihoon alone and let him contemplate whether to forgive or murder the others.

 

Soonyoung put his book back on the bedside table and slid down to his bed, careful not to disturb Jihoon. But before he could even close his eyes, there were loud and annoying knocks on the door accompanied by shouts and laughter.

 

Their members, Soonyoung shook his head and looked at Jihoon who was already sending death glares at the door.

 

“Go! Away!” Jihoon raised his voice enough to convey his distaste and hoped that the members got the message – but alas, airheads are airheads.

 

They started pounding and shouting at the door about wanting a hug from Jihoon. Soonyoung knew that it was good natured teasing but Jihoon got easily annoyed – and the fact that the teasing was about something he wasn’t really fond of makes it worst.

 

“Jihoon-ah, just let me have a kiss, like that one we did in Idol Arcade! Come on!” A voice behind the door that sounded like Seungcheol said.

 

Soonyoung snickered and shook his head beside Jihoon who was still murdering the door with his eyes.

 

Talk about Jihoon trash; if they lost Seungcheol in public they’d probably just let Jihoon page him and he’ll come running like crazy.

 

“With all due respect, Seungcheol-hyung, I don’t want to!” Jihoon shouted and grabbed one of Soonyoung’s pillows. He lied on his back and brought the pillow to his face to muffle a shout of frustration and annoyance. He honestly didn’t know where all these bullying came from. He tried to remember all the things he did – is this their revenge at him for being scary when directing?Because if it was, he’d gladly bow to all of them and apologize just so all of this would stop.

 

Soonyoung turned his back on Jihoon and decided to sleep until the ruckus was over but Jihoon threw the pillow at him with great force causing him to look at the younger over his shoulders.

 

“What?” Soonyoung looked insulted, “I didn’t do anything!” Soonyoung said defensively but Jihoon only rolled his eyes at him.

 

The knocks and the shouts got louder – and it was frankly getting annoying. Even Soonyoung’s eyebrows were starting to furrow and like Jihoon he was already starting to glare daggers at the door. Jihoon must’ve noticed his expression because then he looked apologetic – ‘I didn’t want to drag you into this but you’re the only who doesn’t do shit like them I’m sorry’.

 

Soonyoung could only sigh.

 

The shouts and the pounding didn’t stop and it was already annoying the fuck out of Jihoon and so he sat up, propped himself up on his elbows and with all his might, he shouted:

 

“Go the fuck away; Soonyoung and I are having sex!”

 

Soonyoung froze – and the people behind the door probably froze too because everyone became silent; giggles and knocks unheard.

 

What the fuck, Soonyoung thought and before he could even stop himself, he grabbed Jihoon’s arms and mouthed “What the fuck!?”

 

Jihoon only glanced at Soonyoung and started moaning – he started moaning.

 

What the actual fuck – Jihoon was moaning beside Soonyoung. What is this situation?!

 

Soonyoung could feel himself panicking and his heart was racing at the sound Jihoon was making. Also, the mental image – the mental image his mind had already constructed was not helping him in any fucking way.

 

_Abort! Abort!_

 

“Soonyoung-ah!” Jihoon made his moans breathy and desperate – and Soonyoung buried his face on his hands to hide the fact that his cheeks were burning.

He cannot believe that this man right beside him – yes, the man that doesn’t give off this kind of image in any way – can actually be… like this.

 

“Ah~ Soonyoung… Oh, shit! Right there! Fuck!” Jihoon leaned his head back, exposing his pale neck. He was in character, so in character that Soonyoung looked at him in shock and in horror.

 

The choreographer hit his friend’s arm and glared at him. “Why the fuck are you doing this?”

 

Jihoon hit him back and mouthed, “Just play the fuck along!” before whimpering and standing up so he could jump up and down on the bed.

 

“What the fuck!?” was the only thing that Soonyoung could to say as he was looking up at Jihoon who was (clearly) having the time of his life while making the bed creak.

Jihoon went near the wall and started slapping it while shouting “Oh, yes! Soonyoung, yes! You’re so big!”

 

After a moment, when Jihoon thought that his pretend sex wasn’t believable, he nudged Soonyoung with his foot and glared at him to play along.

 

“Why the fuck would I do that?!” Soonyoung slapped the back of Jihoon’s knee, “You’re fucking demented.”

 

Jihoon stopped pounding on the wall and crouched, making sure his face was only an inch away from Soonyoung; the latter could feel Jihoon’s breath tickling his nose. “Do you want them to leave us alone or not?”

 

“C-Correction, I have nothing to do with any of this!”

 

Soonyoung tried so hard not to look at Jihoon’s lips and lick his own because fuck – that’s not how it should be. He shouldn’t be doing that – Jihoon was his friend and licking your own lips at the sight of your friend’s own is just downright inappropriate and unforgivable.

 

Soonyoung silently thanked the heaven’s that Jihoon couldn’t read his mind or this’ll be the last time he was going to see the sun set.

 

Soonyoung moved his face away from Jihoon, stood up and started pounding on the wall, “Ah, Jihoon-ah.”

 

Jihoon gave him an unimpressed look, he was now back on propping himself on his elbows on the bed. “That’s the best sex sound you can do? Disappointing.”

 

Soonyoung narrowed his eyes at the pink-haired boy; that was clearly a challenge. “All right, then.”

 

Jihoon smirked when Soonyoung stopped pounding on the wall and propped himself up beside Jihoon. The choreographer squeezed his eyes shut, head leaning back and let out a hiss and then a fucking grunt accompanied by a moan that made Jihoon’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline.

 

What the fuck.

 

Soonyoung opened his eyes and glanced at Jihoon’s expression, then smirked.

 

This was easy.

 

The choreographer continued grunting and Jihoon could feel sweat forming on his forehead – okay, he didn’t know it would turn out this way and he didn’t know why he was feeling hot. Is the air getting a bit thin? Did he need to open the windows now?

 

Jihoon turned his head away from Soonyoung and let out a quiet ‘whew’.

 

“Hey, what are you doing? Aren’t you going to join me? This is supposed to make them leave us alone, right?” Soonyoung nudged Jihoon with his elbows and his face was suggestive – so suggestive that Jihoon couldn’t help but suck in a breath.

 

“I – I think this is enough, Soonyoung-ah…”

 

“Really? Because I think I’m starting to get the hang of it…” Soonyoung then groaned; loud and desperate, the groan that indicated he (fake) came. Jihoon blushed so hard he thought his face was going to burst.

                                                                                                                                     

“Soonyoung-ah,” and maybe it was a bad idea to look at the man beside him. Soonyoung was biting his lower lip, his brows furrowed and eyes squeezed shut as if he did experience the pleasure of cumming.

 

Jihoon gulped. _Not fucking good._

The thought itself made him wake from his daze and he had to get up and leave before Soonyoung noticed the bulge slowly growing in his pants.

 

But before he could even leave, a hand had already grabbed his wrist. The next thing Jihoon knew, he was on top of Soonyoung and their faces were inches away from each other.

 

“Don’t,” Soonyoung said through gritted teeth before grabbing the back of Jihoon’s neck and crushing their lips together.

 

The younger hadn’t expected this outcome and he absolutely wanted to run away; he wanted to get away from Soonyoung as soon as possible because it wasn’t right; this wasn’t something that friends do!

 

But God – good God – Soonyoung was making it impossible for him to leave. His lips were making it impossible for Jihoon to run away. It was hard to go when it feels so right and so perfect.

 

The kiss didn’t feel right at first – it was frantic and unsure; their mind and body contradicting each other.

 

_Should I want this? Is this right? He’s my friend, how can we do this? This is so wrong._

 

There was a little bit of biting, their teeth were clashing but as it went on, it became slow and affectionate – definitely not chaste but definitely not lust-filled either. It was just light – mouths opening, welcoming each other; their tongues touching. Confusion was completely out of the picture and it was just Jihoon, Soonyoung and their lips – and Jihoon swore that if Soonyoung doesn’t pull away he’s probably going to go crazy.

 

Good thing they needed air and so Jihoon pulled back, breathless, lips swollen and red. Soonyoung was the same, although the older had a satisfied smile on his face.

 

“Shit,” Soonyoung said, dropping his head back on the pillow, panting. “That was amazing!”

 

Jihoon couldn’t help but blush – Soonyoung thought it was amazing and Jihoon did, too, but he doesn’t want to say it. The doubt was back.

 

Soonyoung seemed to notice it because he propped himself up on his elbows again and stared at Jihoon, worry etched all over his features, “Are you okay, Jihoon-ah?”

 

Jihoon looked down on Soonyoung’s chest; this wasn’t supposed to happen if he didn’t have that crazy idea. “I’m sorry,”

 

Soonyoung caressed his cheeks with his thumb, “What are you sorry for?”

 

“This…” Jihoon got off on top of Soonyoung and sat on the other side of the bed. He looked guilty and worried.

 

Soonyoung sat up, too and moved to sit in front of his friend. “I don’t understand.”

 

“That… that wasn’t supposed to happen,” Jihoon sighed, “We’re… we’re friends…. I—“

 

“You didn’t like that we kissed?” Soonyoung looked genuinely hurt.

 

Jihoon shook his head and cupped Soonyoung’s face, making him look up at him, “No. It’s not – no. I loved it. I can’t believe I’m saying this but I loved it. It’s just that we’re friends and I’m sorry because if it weren’t for my stupid idea this wouldn’t have happened. I’ve crossed a line and –“

 

The composer didn’t know what he was saying anymore. There was so much in his mind but nothing was coming out right. He wanted to apologize, to take everything back because God knows what might happen when they come out of this room – the possibility of them not talking after the incident was huge and Jihoon didn’t want that. He loved Soonyoung and he wouldn’t be able to take it if their friendship got destroyed because of his shitty idea.

 

Jihoon shook his head but was stopped when Soonyoung gently bumped their foreheads and said:

 

“Correction, _I_ crossed that line,” the blond smiled, “and I’m so glad I did.”

 

Jihoon looked up at him. He certainly didn’t know what would happen after this – after the kiss.

 

Will there be a relationship? If there was, should they let the world know or should they just keep it to themselves? He didn’t know. He had no idea and he was nervous as fuck, but seeing Soonyoung with a smile on his face made him think that it wasn’t so bad.

 

“What are we then?” Jihoon couldn’t help but wonder and just be bold about it. He doesn’t like beating around the bush and figuring things out through clues and shit.

 

“Whatever you like us to be,” Soonyoung giggled and kissed Jihoon’s nose.

 

“Our company’s going to fire us when they find out,” Jihoon remarked and sighed.

 

“They’re not going to fire the best composer and choreographer in the world.”

 

Jihoon sighed but he had a satisfied smile on his face, “Remind me how we got into this situation again?”

 

“You were being hot and I had lost my control,” Soonyoung nodded. “It was your fault by the way. When you leaned your head like that, I almost jumped you.”

 

“Shut up,” he moved to ruffle Soonyoung’s hair and kissed him on the lips long and hard.

 

The older looked shock and frozen, Jihoon couldn’t help but giggle, “Just to be a bit more convincing.”

 

Jihoon gestured to the door and Soonyoung remembered the guys behind it; he grinned and grabbed his soon-to-be-boyfriend’s hand and led him to the door, he needed to do something. He opened it before Jihoon could protest and he the guys almost stumbled to him – they were listening.

 

Soonyoung looked disheveled but Jihoon really didn’t and so Soonyoung ruffled his hair nonchalantly to be _more convincing_. The guys looked at them; mouths open like a trapdoor and eyes wide as an owl’s.

 

“What the heck just happened?” Hansol asked and Soonyoung only grinned at them like they’re the most amazing thing that has ever happened in his life.

 

“Thank you very much,” the choreographer said, bowing to the boys in front of him, “Please tease him a lot from now on.”

 

And that earned him a kick on the shin from Jihoon.


	2. Extra

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Behind the door.

Seungcheol: Oh, my God, are they really doing it?

Jeonghan: At least the obvious sexual tension is resolved.

Seungcheol: Nice.

Seungkwan: Jihoon-hyung seems into it but Soonyoung-hyung…? I don’t hear him.

Minghao: Since when did they –

Jun: [shrugs]

Jisoo: What the hell are you guys doing?

Jeonghan: This doesn’t count as voyeurism, does it? We don’t really see them. Chan, go to your room.

Chan: But why? You’re all here.

Jeonghan: [glares]

Chan: [sighs]

Minghao: I’m not sure if eavesdropping like this is okay…

Junhui: Oh, my God… is that Soonyoung?

Seungcheol: What do you mean he’s not into it? [eyes Seungkwan]

Hansol: Guys, please.

Jeonghan: Seungkwan? Hansol? Why are you here!? Go to your rooms!

S&H: But hyung!

Seokmin: If this is how our bullying ends then I’m never going to bully Woozi-hyung again.

Seungcheol: You, too. Why are you here?

Seokmin: I’m an adult, all right!?

Wonwoo: I didn’t expect live audio porn.

Mingyu: I did not sign up for this.

Seungcheol: When did they start doing that?

Jisoo: [shrugs]

Jeonghan: Traitors, keeping their relationship from us!

Jun: So, that’s why Woozi always goes to Soonyoung’s room nowadays.

Seungcheol: [realization] Oh, my God! I thought it was just because Soonyoung didn’t involve himself with the teasing and Jihoon’s just going to him for help…

Seokmin: Looks like it was a different kind of help.

Joshua: I didn’t know there was something going on between – oh, my God. What the hell? Is that Soonyoung again?

Seungcheol: Oh, Woozi’s become silent…

Jeonghan: Score.

Minghao: This is so wrong.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry :>


End file.
